tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-62696741907424083932024-02-19T07:50:46.471-08:00The Dark Side of Hall and OatesKoot Hoomihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14289911966269669867noreply@blogger.comBlogger3125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6269674190742408393.post-13500456612864804872010-05-08T12:30:00.000-07:002013-09-15T12:35:38.395-07:00Koot Hoomi's 10 Favorite Hall and Oates Albums<div class="entry clear">
You have, no doubt, heard of the Rhodes Scholars.
That august group counts among its alumni Bill Clinton and Kris
Kristofferson. Less well known but perhaps more prestigious, however,
are the Oates Scholars: an elite corps of renunciants who spend years
cloistered away in abandoned luncheonettes poring over the Hall and
Oates canon in an attempt to decipher the esoteric messages embedded
therein.<br />
<br />
It should come as no surprise that the members of Koot Hoomi are former Oates Scholars. We can tell you exactly who produced <i>War Babies</i> and why Daryl Hall’s <i>Sacred Songs</i>
was initially withheld from the public. We may not be able to explain
the theory of relativity, but dagnabbit, we do know the year “She’s
Gone” charted.<br />
<br />
In recent years, we have been visited by tribes of earnest young
seekers drawn to the Hoomi’s Lair as if by the North Star. They come
from all the established civilizations of the Nine Planets*, yet despite
their cultural differences, they all arrive armed with the exact same
question.<br />
<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiaxtfg-qEHT0kUGeW6q6FNnfhdoPttdfoso1GZlGTKwLJdUvjd4NZrVsIM_XAmE-B4UjBbo18Ihx48iSslhDTBZGiA9vVfnMTdcMTdZ2E2LzSdSWcajf0DKuuM8Gh2gpJsCMNJqetMvF4/s1600/rashi.gif" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiaxtfg-qEHT0kUGeW6q6FNnfhdoPttdfoso1GZlGTKwLJdUvjd4NZrVsIM_XAmE-B4UjBbo18Ihx48iSslhDTBZGiA9vVfnMTdcMTdZ2E2LzSdSWcajf0DKuuM8Gh2gpJsCMNJqetMvF4/s1600/rashi.gif" /></a></div>
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<i><span style="font-size: xx-small;">Oates Scholar puzzles over the original manuscript of "I'm Just a Kid, Don't Make Me Feel Like a Man."</span></i></div>
<br />
“Esteemed Members of Koot Hoomi,” they say, “We wish to commit to the
Way of Oates, but we do not know where to begin. The back catalog is
simply too extensive. Please point us to the most sacred platters.”<br />
<br />
As a service to them, and to you—and, quite frankly, since we’re
tired of answering the door and speaking to homeless crackpots from
Neptune—we have taken it upon ourselves to compile a list of our ten
favorite Hall and Oates albums. Your Way may be different from our Way,
but the melodies etched into the grooves of these phonorecords have, for
us, unlocked the harmonic codes of the universe.<br />
<br />
#10: <a href="http://www.amazon.com/Marigold-Sky-Hall-Oates/dp/B000001I1W/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&s=music&qid=1273353178&sr=1-1"><i>Marigold Sky</i></a>.
Those familiar with the canonical works of Hall and Oates may be
scratching their heads at this one. After all, the general academic
consensus is that the Golden Age of H&O concluded with <i>Big Bam Boom</i>
in 1984. We’re not necessarily disputing that, but we also know that
greatness doesn’t just get turned off like a spigot. There have been
sporadic flashes in the ensuing years and this is one of them. If any
other artist were to include tracks such as “Romeo is Bleeding,” “Throw
the Roses Away,” and “Marigold Sky” on the same album, it would be
declared their masterpiece. For Hall and Oates it’s just a good album.<br />
<br />
#9: <a href="http://www.amazon.com/EXTRA-TRACKS-ORIGINAL-RECORDING-REMASTERED/dp/B0015XAT52/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&s=music&qid=1273353256&sr=1-1"><i>Big Bam Boom</i></a>.
1984 found Daryl and John sitting astride the world like colossi.
Surely they were tempted to simply sign, seal, and deliver a rehash of
their formula to the teeming masses. Instead, they served up a pop album
nearly bursting with melodic innovation. From the swaggering power
chords of “Out of Touch” to the dizzying calypso rhythms of “Method of
Modern Love” to the dissonance of “Some Things are Better Left Unsaid,”
Big Bam Boom is both radio-friendly and creative. Even the weaker
tracks, such as “Possession Obsession,” are better than you remember.<br />
<br />
#8: <a href="http://www.amazon.com/Sacred-Songs-Daryl-Hall/dp/B002YUR2FA/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&s=music&qid=1273353323&sr=1-1-spell"><i>Daryl Hall: Sacred Songs</i></a>:
Okay, this is one of the apocrypha, and is therefore not a required
text for Oates Scholars. Nevertheless, it’s awfully hard to go wrong
with a collaboration between Daryl Hall: the king of blue-eyed Philly
soul, and Robert Fripp: the high priest of progressive rock. This is an
alchemical stew of doo-wop, psychedelia, ambient soundscapes, and
angular hard rock. “Without Tears” is a beautiful homage to <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Aleister_Crowley">Aleister Crowley</a>. Seriously.<br />
<br />
#7: <a href="http://www.amazon.com/Rock-n-Soul-Pt-1/dp/B000CNE128/ref=sr_1_3?ie=UTF8&s=music&qid=1273353439&sr=1-3"><i>Rock and Soul Part I</i></a>.
If you need a quick shot to get you through the day, this is the one.
This compilation includes “Kiss on My List,” “Private Eyes,” “Say It
Isn’t So,” “Rich Girl,” “Maneater,” and on and on. The sheer weight of
all these hooks is staggering.<br />
<br />
#6: <a href="http://www.amazon.com/Extra-Tracks-ORIGINAL-RECORDING-REMASTERED/dp/B0015XAT5C/ref=sr_1_9?ie=UTF8&s=music&qid=1273353527&sr=1-9"><i>H2O</i></a>.
Oates Scholars are already well aware that beneath the glossy sheen,
this is dark, dark, dark. Have you ever sat down and really listened to
the lyrics of “Maneater”? How about “Open All Night” and “Crime Pays”?
Or the Mike Oldfield cover “Family Man”? Even “One on One” is a song of
emotional isolation. He’s tired of playing on the team, folks. And on
“Italian Girls,” John Oates asks the very same question that has
perplexed archeologists, sociologists, genealogists, cosmologists, and
cosmotologists for centuries: “Where <i>are</i> the Italian girls?”<br />
<br />
#5: <a href="http://http//www.amazon.com/Whole-Oats-Hall-Oates/dp/B0011FDV7W/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&s=music&qid=1273353592&sr=1-1"><i>Whole Oats</i></a>.
We see the through-line from “Waterwheel” to the vocal stylings of Thom
Yorke. Maybe Thom doesn’t, but that’s not our problem. This
folk-rock-soul hodgepodge also contains the wonderful “I’m Sorry,”
“Goodnight and Goodmorning” and “Lilly.” Harmonies come tumbling out of
every rickety closet door you open. Plus, it took serious balls to put
the magnificently loopy “Georgie” (which features the line “The girl
caught her locket / on an underwater branch / and the next thing she
knew / she had died”) as track #3.<br />
</div>
<div class="entry clear">
#4: <a href="http://www.amazon.com/Private-Eyes-Hall-Oates/dp/B002HMHSS6/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&s=music&qid=1273353659&sr=1-1"><i>Private Eyes</i></a>.
Punchy, catchy, and just plain marvelous from start to finish.
Highlights: “Unguarded Minute,” “Your Imagination,” “Head above Water,”
“Did It in a Minute,”<br />
“I Can’t Go for That,” “Mano a Mano,” and, of course, the title track.
The songs you don’t recognize are every bit as good as the ones you do.<br />
<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEilkgYe_USWm2lKbFQhl6WAHzo4DBvs7znTy_S7m7y75D7SOBWpYhn4lbRGyfDkRpvCOzC649djYZmGAcX7iocfRBiKYUZZDOKo0MqXT4pQEke7eYlP-lmrUd_TwLx5ARTww0X7-JBt8Ec/s1600/album-Hall-Oates-Private-Eyes1.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEilkgYe_USWm2lKbFQhl6WAHzo4DBvs7znTy_S7m7y75D7SOBWpYhn4lbRGyfDkRpvCOzC649djYZmGAcX7iocfRBiKYUZZDOKo0MqXT4pQEke7eYlP-lmrUd_TwLx5ARTww0X7-JBt8Ec/s320/album-Hall-Oates-Private-Eyes1.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
<br />
#3: <a href="http://www.amazon.com/Abandoned-Luncheonette-Hall-Oates/dp/B0017CW5CQ/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&s=music&qid=1273353723&sr=1-1"><i>Abandoned Luncheonette</i></a>.
Earthy. Sophisticated. Self-assured. Oates firing on all cylinders and
more than holding his own against the heaven-scraping ululations of the
tall blonde mangod who shares his destiny. This is the work of a duo.
It would never be quite this democratic again, but that’s okay. We have
this sonic artifact imbued with celestial fire.
<br />
<br />
#2: <a href="http://www.amazon.com/Hall-Oates-Early-Years/dp/B000VHUCWS/ref=sr_1_2?ie=UTF8&s=music&qid=1273353786&sr=1-2"><i>Hall and Oates: The Early Years</i></a>.
Not an official album per se, just a collection of mostly acoustic
guitar-and-piano demos. But it was this compilation that set Koot Hoomi
on the path to the Dark Side. We fell in love with the unadorned beauty
of those two voices—Daryl’s angelic tenor and John’s elemental
baritone—blending over softly tickled ivories and gently strummed steel
strings. “Back in Love” calls out to us across the decades, laying its
beating heart on the table here, now, today. The Early Years were good
years. For all of us.<br />
<br />
#1: <a href="http://www.amazon.com/Beauty-Street-Original-Recording-Remastered/dp/B0019M82QC/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&s=music&qid=1273352813&sr=8-1"><i>Beauty on a Back Street</i></a>.
The true Dark Side of Hall and Oates. Folks, this one thrums with so
much unholy occult energy that Daryl and John themselves disowned it. No
matter. If you happen to find it in a bargain vinyl bin somewhere, I
can guarantee it’ll be the best $1.99 you’ll ever spend. Where else can
you find a pitch-perfect Led Zeppelin pastiche (“Winged Bull”), a pair
of voice-lacerating screamers (“You Must Be Good for Something” and “Bad
Habits and Infections”), two of the finest top-ten hits that never were
(“Why Do Lovers Break Each-other’s Heart” and “Bigger than Both of Us”)
and Oates blowing his soft breeze over the tumbleweeds of our souls via
“The Girl who Used to Be”? Beauty on a Back Street did not need the
Koot Hoomi treatment; it’s already well and truly in the twilight zone.
And that’s a good thing.<br />
<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgkMKZh1NwMCIk-aWo8QUqJ9j07yQA6aE0ob-rkTY63X__zgVeK-ZbbXhuizwdHboucXr7U53xCwsYNZOa5c_oF3T7tMhacKhQA_y93MDerQNgRssG4mR7Il0Nvh9PnQctCxwB_2hpj4xU/s1600/1977-Beauty-On-A-Back-Street1.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="314" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgkMKZh1NwMCIk-aWo8QUqJ9j07yQA6aE0ob-rkTY63X__zgVeK-ZbbXhuizwdHboucXr7U53xCwsYNZOa5c_oF3T7tMhacKhQA_y93MDerQNgRssG4mR7Il0Nvh9PnQctCxwB_2hpj4xU/s320/1977-Beauty-On-A-Back-Street1.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
<br />
There you have it. Ten platters of excellence. Ten bells in the fog. Ten
cries of lamentation. Ten mortal blows to musical snobbery. Ten gifts
to give your sweetheart in exchange for eternal love.<br />
<br />
You’re welcome.<br />
<br />
*Koot Hoomi does not recognize the recent downgrading of Pluto</div>
Koot Hoomihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14289911966269669867noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6269674190742408393.post-74145036440553448092010-03-21T12:15:00.000-07:002013-09-15T12:22:50.535-07:00The Rise and Fall of the Dark Side of Hall and Oates: A Brief History<div class="entry clear">
When was <a href="http://darksideofhallandoates.com/" target="_blank">The Dark Side of Hall and Oates</a>
born? That question has perplexed scholars, music lovers, and
theologians alike for years, and even now, in this nuclear winter of
2064, it continues to divide the Tribes of Earth. There is, of course, a
small but particularly violent group of fundamentalists who insist that
the project commenced the moment the Lurie brothers espied a $2.00
cassette copy of Hall and Oates: The Early Years in a Portland
convenience store in 1993. Others point to the Christmas Eve in 2002
when the brothers stormed an open mic in Kingston, WA to deliver an
extended take on “One on One”—complete with a rap that name-dropped
Captain Kirk, Attila the Hun, and the mighty Australian ensemble Men at
Work.<br />
<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhqvSL7hk6JBFpdpxBcFQJ03FKnvTKO3Kkj657uqS52rxfG86TREqP7rBN4nOOjrot6Elb2lBSYE8Ah9atX3XK4zMJM_cFplKMEJ07BAbspojoRcajAtchLWbCnF9MDVXcv4vUQ73Ibd5M/s1600/arch_site5001.jpeg" imageanchor="1"><img border="0" height="300" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhqvSL7hk6JBFpdpxBcFQJ03FKnvTKO3Kkj657uqS52rxfG86TREqP7rBN4nOOjrot6Elb2lBSYE8Ah9atX3XK4zMJM_cFplKMEJ07BAbspojoRcajAtchLWbCnF9MDVXcv4vUQ73Ibd5M/s400/arch_site5001.jpeg" width="400" /></a></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-size: xx-small;"><i>Researchers from Instanbul University work to unravel the mysteries of The Dark Side of Hall and Oates.</i></span></div>
<div>
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Archaeologists, however, have declared a recently unearthed email
transcript (stardate 2004) the probable inception point for the album.
In this missive, the elder Lurie encourages his younger sibling to
“imagine Pink Floyd teaming up with Tom Waits to perform Hall and Oates
songs on broken banjos.”</div>
</div>
<br />
Then, frustratingly, the trail goes cold.<br />
<br />
We have the recordings from the infamous “Lost Weekend” of 2008—the
sessions that yielded “Adult Education,” “Had I Known You Better Then,”
and “If That’s What Makes You Happy.” And we know from carbon dating
that the cracked, brittle renditions of “Say It Isn’t So” and “Maneater
(Reprise)” also hail from the same era—albeit from a different session.<br />
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In 2053, self-educated anthropologist Don “Doughboy” Doughty reported
an amazing find: three cassette tapes buried at the bottom of a box of
Hustler magazines in his recently deceased father’s attic, labeled
“Swami Sessions.” These turned out to be the legendary recordings of
Swami Premananda crooning “Back in Love Again” seventy-seven times.
Prior to this find, historians had concluded that the Swami himself was
simply a fictitious creation—an embellishment that had crept into the
accounts of the few survivors who’d heard the album in its entirety
prior to its destruction.<br />
<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhgWqyMYwtjC4uBgl5nCSjq_v03RwtgxvH8mESyGIN9oSk6xCb5Z014PP1jllWf7ivVfChSJCZeropMaogI0_qv335hp_eTeN_hIVcrWU4_T-mx4NzMwhLGi9uTZHz1CiLC3nz8lSvg1XA/s1600/Forma-Urbis.jpeg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="400" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhgWqyMYwtjC4uBgl5nCSjq_v03RwtgxvH8mESyGIN9oSk6xCb5Z014PP1jllWf7ivVfChSJCZeropMaogI0_qv335hp_eTeN_hIVcrWU4_T-mx4NzMwhLGi9uTZHz1CiLC3nz8lSvg1XA/s400/Forma-Urbis.jpeg" width="264" /></a></div>
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<div style="text-align: center;">
<i><span style="font-size: xx-small;">Recent findings trace the origins of Koot Hoomi's Hall & Oates tribute album back to the year 2004. </span></i></div>
<br />
As we well know, the Great War of 2011 is the reason for our
shamefully spotty historical record. And we also know that the war
itself was sparked by internecine violence within the indie rock
community as radicalized Koot Hoomi fans and Bird and The Bee fans took
up arms against one another. What had started out as a friendly rivalry
quickly soured with the brutal martyrdom of Topher Blair (He was burned
in a giant wicker man by ironic hipsters. One eyewitness account has
them dancing lewdly and chanting the canonical works of Death Cab for
Cutie while Topher’s flesh curled off the bone, but this has never been
verified.)<br />
<br />
From that point forward it was brother against brother, mother
against daughter, alligator against crocodile, slug against snail.<br />
<br />
The rest of the story you no doubt remember from your history lessons
in elementary school: The Purge of 2013, the nuclear meltdown of the
Blue Note Records pressing plant, the invasion of Rhode Island, and the
birth of the squid baby. It’s all too depressing to recount here. But
for that one shining moment before the great cataclysm, the Lurie
brother’s great dream had its day in the sun. And what a wonderful day
it was.
</div>
Koot Hoomihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14289911966269669867noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6269674190742408393.post-75719307466474821002010-03-09T12:08:00.000-08:002013-09-15T12:09:29.306-07:00The Dark Side of Hall and Oates: A Manifesto<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhHiXNq6THpdBuoVU6T0HzYowdH1isqma51ybVnLktk_569dqyPy8vmtgWKArhnk0UT1iQmvm0XsM49LZFCcv6iwIt0bA3meJdiNyUDkNk_mOGn03iRx5HE7u_-80MlDYx-N1_QpTfut38/s1600/DSHO_cover2.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="400" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhHiXNq6THpdBuoVU6T0HzYowdH1isqma51ybVnLktk_569dqyPy8vmtgWKArhnk0UT1iQmvm0XsM49LZFCcv6iwIt0bA3meJdiNyUDkNk_mOGn03iRx5HE7u_-80MlDYx-N1_QpTfut38/s400/DSHO_cover2.jpg" width="400" /></a></div>
<br />
We shouldn’t even be having this conversation. In a sane, rational
world, one where talent and mastery of craft counted for something, I
wouldn’t feel the need to justify my love for Daryl Hall and John Oates.
Their greatness would be evident to anyone with functioning ears.<br />
<br />
But if there’s one thing I’ve learned over the years, it’s that the
hallowed, mystery-shrouded dark tower of “music criticism” is populated
by lemmings. How else to explain the monolithic fawning over, oh, let me
just pick one example, Patti Smith? Never mind that she sounds like a
dying cat; that guy from Trouser Press said she’s the next Dylan!<br />
<br />
Maybe the scribblers never paid any attention to Hall and Oates
because they weren’t the “next” anything. Sure, Daryl Hall idolized and
emulated the Philly soul singers he’d listened to in his youth, and yes,
John Oates—in the early days at least—was enamored of bluegrass and
folk songwriters. And both were fans of good old rock and roll. But they
combined those ingredients to create a hybrid they called “rock and
soul”—and that’s a calibration they retained, whether they were singing
of rich girls who had gone too far, <a href="http://books.google.com/books?id=vbFnDVnt2tcC&printsec=frontcover&dq=winged+bull&source=bl&ots=BpFddWgWYS&sig=y4mnUHRRW7qg1gvFog_6n3Can5o&hl=en&ei=18ZyS57tBJGIswOG7rGWBQ&sa=X&oi=book_result&ct=result&resnum=18&ved=0CEMQ6AEwEQ#v=onepage&q=&f=false">winged bulls</a>
scraping the sky like Icarus, Beanie G with his rose tattoo, private
eyes who were watching you, or that nameless maneater, from 1970 through
1986 (what I regard as the golden era). Now, I’ve heard all the
arguments that the self-appointed arbiters of integrity and authenticity
have leveled against the dynamic duo over the years: that the songs are
silly, the albums are slick and overproduced, and that the mustache is
ridiculous. Well, let’s take these one by one.<br />
<br />
I won’t deny that some of the songs are silly, but I would counter
with Paul McCartney’s question: “What’s wrong with that?” Let’s face it:
rock and roll itself is silly. It’s a medium filled with grown-ass men
jumping around onstage in makeup, sometimes smashing their instruments
for no apparent reason and generally conducting themselves in a manner
that frat boys doing keg stands would find obnoxious. To paraphrase
Martin Sheen in Apocalypse Now, “Accusing these men of being silly in
the medium of rock music is like passing out speeding tickets at the
Indy 500.”<br />
<br />
I’m also wondering why Bowie gets a pass. Don’t get me wrong, I love
me some Bowie, but stack “a she-cat tamed by the purr of a jag-u-ar”
(From H&O’s “Maneater”) against “keeps all his dead hair for making
up underwear” (from Bowie’s “Jean Genie”) and tell me which line is more
ridiculous.<br />
<br />
Are the albums overproduced? Well, sure, I suppose so. But what does
that mean, anyway? Isn’t Pet Sounds overproduced? How about any of the
records from the Lindsey Buckingham era of Fleetwood Mac? If, by
overproduced, you mean polish and attention to detail, then I say guilty
as charged. And if you want everything to sound like The Velvet
Underground’s <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/White_Light/White_Heat">White Light / White Heat</a>, there’s nothing I can do for you.<br />
<br />
Lastly, the mustache. People fear it, as they did Samson’s hair.
There is no doubt that it possesses occult powers. Oates himself had to
eventually get rid of it, just as Spider Man broke free of the black
suit. But make no mistake, that mustache defined an era and an ethos.
All eyes went to it. And Oates was hardly alone. Need I remind readers
of the unstoppable sexual magnetism of <a href="http://magnum-mania.com/images/4_20_a_full.jpg">Tom Selleck</a>?<br />
<br />
Ultimately, this is all smokescreen. The pundits are trying to
distract you from the fact that, when you get right down to it, the
music of Daryl Hall and John Oates is simple, direct, true, and good.
And that’s why it resonates. Koot Hoomi’s introduction of psychedelia,
Tuvan throat chanting, backwards masking, and the occasional rap about
robot invasions should in no way be construed as mocking the source
material. You can’t improve upon perfection, so our only option was to
do these songs in our own way. We sincerely hope that you enjoy the
result.<br />
<br />
The Dark Side of Hall and Oates is now available. Ordering info and streaming audio from the album can be heard at <a href="http://darksideofhallandoates.com/">http://darksideofhallandoates.com</a>.Koot Hoomihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14289911966269669867noreply@blogger.com0